Yin Yoga butterfly leg numbness, which can hear the joke that can not stop laughing?
What jokes can you hear that you can't stop laughing?
I made up the following jokes. See if they are funny? 😂
1. When the daughter just entered the house, she found her mother unhappy and quietly asked her father who caused it. Dad: "it's a mirror." Daughter: "Mom looked in the mirror?" What's so strange about it? she takes pictures every day! " Dad: "the key is to wear glasses and take pictures today." Daughter: "did she find wrinkles?" Dad: "how can she see wrinkles when she wears such a thick powder?" Grey hair! "😂.
2. Wife An and woman B lamented that it was so difficult to gain weight, and it would not work by all means. The second woman asked, "is it all right to be fat anywhere?" A woman: "of course!" It would be nice to have a bigger belly, she thought. The second woman said she had a way. She told her to stand still, close her eyes, and then slapped her left and right and slapped her several times in a row! 😂
Husband: "you don't have to go to work, you don't do anything at home-look at the floor, the stove, the sink, it's filthy!" Wife: "you finally found it dirty!" All right, I'll do it right away! " Husband: "if I don't find out, aren't you going to do it?" Wife: "this time." I just want you to know that the house is always so clean that it doesn't keep it clean on its own! "(like 👍 for the silent efforts of all housewives)
Wife: "I won't even ask you to go shopping with me!" I have the nerve to keep saying that my love for me is higher than the mountains and deeper than the sea! " Husband: "Oh, I'm talking about a sea of people." 😂
Hello, everyone, this is the post of joy! First of all, please like and follow me, if you are unhappy, come to me!
Our slogan: "you are happy, I am happy, everyone is happy". For this goal, I have been working hard! In the spirit of "happy alone is not as good as all happy", I would like to share some funny jokes from my collection, hoping to bring you joy! Don't say too much, the picture below and above
- Ha, you lie on the operating table, your heart beats so fast!
- When I gave birth to a baby by caesarean section, I was so scared that the doctor said to play me a song. As a result, I was given a knife, a pig knife. I still hate him when I think about it!
- When I went to the hospital to have my teeth filled, the doctor said, "at your age, you'd better hang up pediatric dentistry." Because there are no cats and mice to see!
- Doctor: remember to open more windows to ventilate when you get home. I said: the haze outside is too serious! Doctor: then bring in some fresh haze at home. Doctor, are you serious? 😭
- Ask the doctor during the physical examination: why don't you ask me if I have a boyfriend! Guess what the doctor said? You don't seem to have it, so you don't ask. Single dogs are heartbreaking.
- Is this "dancing husky" in the dormitory? Don't say it, it's interesting!
- The eldest sister has a big sofa seat, and the young man stands in front of her.
- Once again prove a sentence: when a man is coquettish, there is nothing wrong with a woman!
- Meet this kind of little brother, ask for the shadow area of the eldest brother's heart?
Give a rose, leave a fragrance in the hand. Happy to remind you, like to follow oh ⊙∀⊙!
My headline article has a lot of funny content.
You can follow it.
Post a few here.
1. I remember once when I went to the bathroom while my deskmate went to school, I secretly changed my remarks in his mobile phone address book to "Dad" and wanted to make fun of him when I was in class.
In the middle of the class, I secretly texted him: "son!" Our family just won 10 million yuan in the lottery! And read a bullshit book and go home! "
After watching this, he stood up with his head held high, with a golden light of confidence in his eyes, and then walked towards the door like six relatives who did not recognize him.
When the teacher saw it, he immediately stopped and asked, "Why are you going?"
After listening to this, the deskmate turned around and shouted to the teacher, "I'll piss off your mother!"
He disappeared into the eyes of everyone.
2. When I helped the second uncle sell millet, the road was bumpy and spilled a little. The second uncle was so distressed that he asked me to stop the car and load it in a handful. He also said, "Don't underestimate this half a jin of millet. You drop a few here and there. That's a lot to add up to." Listening to me nodding again and again, the old people just know how to make a living.
Then, in the afternoon, I saw my uncle play mahjong and lost 480.
3. When I was a child, I fought with my aunt and made my sister cry. My father came and slapped me: you are the eldest brother, can't you let her be a little bit? she is younger than you! I cried and said, I gave her three moves! But she still can't beat it! I remember being chased and beaten by my father: I'll give you three moves, come on, I'll give you three moves!
4. When Xiao Ming went to school, all the students in the class said, "Wow, Xiao Ming, your face looks like an ass, ha." Xiao Ming ran out and walked to a well while crying. Xiao Ming thought to himself, is my face really like an ass? So he looked at his reflection in the well. Unexpectedly, there was no water under the well. As soon as a staff member looked up, he immediately began to curse, "if you fucking shit in it, I'll kill you!"
5. Traveling with my childhood cousin and staying in a hotel at night, the room rate is very expensive.
"Why don't we stay in one room and make do for one night?" I suggested.
"how can that work?" The cousin said with a serious face, "We are old now. We can't be like children in the past. We have to think about your reputation!" You have to stay in two rooms! "
I was deeply impressed by my cousin's words of righteousness.
As a result, my cousin was taken away by the police in the other room that night.
6 、
During the training of new recruits in a military region, a new recruit became addicted to smoking again. He saw an uncle at the door watering flowers.
Just yell, uncle, buy me a pack of cigarettes.
Uncle said that you are not a ban on smoking?
The recruit said it was all right, and he certainly couldn't find it. Do me a favor. People in the Northeast are all living Lei Feng.
So I helped him.
When having dinner in the evening, the company commander scolded TMD, who asked the commander to help buy cigarettes, but also TM northeastern people are all living Lei Feng?
There is a friend who is a champion of Sanda and has a small restaurant in his family. One night, four thugs came to the restaurant and left without paying. His father chased him out for a theory. He happened to go home, heard his mother immediately chased out, the dark light and a group of people tore into a fight, came home to tell his mother that all down. His mother asked how many down? He said, "five! While I was fighting, one of them shouted, "I'm your father, I'm your father," and I punched him a few more times!
8. when a colleague was on a business trip, he found that someone else had taken his seat on the train, and then the colleague went over and showed the ticket to the person sitting on the seat. Then he said, "Big Brother, I can't read. Please help me see where my ticket is."
The eldest brother looked at it and said, "Brother, you can stand anywhere."
9. When I went back to my hometown to play, my uncle asked me to kill a duck to make food and drink.
So I went and caught one at random, bled it and carried it back to the house.
My uncle asked me, did he scream when you killed him?
Me: I called twice
Uncle: do you know what it is talking about
Me: I don't know, what did he say
Uncle: it is saying: I am a goose, I am a goose!
10. I accidentally saw my brother jerking off. I asked him what he was doing. He said he was practicing martial arts, and I believed him. Just after a few days of school performance, the teacher asked who knows martial arts, so I went up, I will never forget that day.